In honor of Breaking Bad's return to television, and also in honor of the announcement of Peter Capaldi as the twelfth Doctor, and in a couple of cases just because I feel like it, have some more casting choices for my imaginary DC movies.

( Alfred Pennyworth )

As it turns out, it's only white male actors under 35 who all run together in my head. So here's some more fake movie cast.

Heroes

( Crispus Allen )

Since I spend a lot of time on Polyvore these days, I made this fan-cast for a hypothetical DC movie (or series of movies) with a blended DCAU/Teen Titans Animated/pre-DCNu comics continuity. But since I don't know or care about male actors, I only did the ladies. Batman and Superman would be in their late 30s, Dick would be about 29, and Teen ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Click to view

Oh, joy. Another movie by someone who saw Paranormal Activity but didn’t understand why it was effective. But whereas the makers of The Amityville Haunting saw Paranormal Activity and said, “I want to make a movie like this,” the makers of Paranormal Entity saw Paranormal Activity and said, “I want to make this movie ( Read more... )

Click to view

Here's a breakdown of the Leprechaun movies for those who may not have seen them:

Leprechaun - Jennifer Anniston, a man with a mullet, a mentally disabled guy, and an annoying kid find a leprechaun’s gold and have to fight him off with a green light shining on some grass four leaf clover.

Leprechaun 2 - If you sneeze on your birthday and no one ( Read more... )

Click to view

Oh, boy! I read the abridged for children version of this book when I was itty bitty, along with the abridged for children version of Frankenstein, and I adored them both. I read the grownup versions of both books when I was older, and...well, frankly, abridging did wonders for Frankenstein. The original text was in desperate need of a good ( Read more... )

Click to view

I thought I hadn't seen this before, but I realized pretty quickly that I had. This is Everyone is Awful: The Movie.

Now I don't feel good.

Also, it makes The Amityville Haunting look like a masterwork of subtlety.

Click to view

I thought I was watching the remake of The Amityville Horror, but it turns out I just can't read anything from this distance. That's okay, because the only memorably good thing about the original Amityville is Lois Lane, and it's neat to see a movie by someone who clearly loved Paranormal Activity. And I tend to enjoy found footage movies, ( Read more... )

Click to view

I saw this one in the theater, but the only thing I remembered about it was that "I Fall to Pieces" was a plot point.

Now the only things I remember about it are "I Fall to Pieces" and A LOT OF REALLY LOUD NOISES. SERIOUSLY, THIS MOVIE WAS REALLY FREAKING LOUD. I don't think I caught any of the dialogue, because I turned it way down to avoid ( Read more... )